Whether due to constant arguing, physical or emotional abuse, meeting someone new, or falling out of love, you’ve reached a point in your marriage where you’re considering divorce. But are you confident that you’re ready to sever ties completely with your spouse? What will happen to your home and your assets? How much will a divorce cost, and how long will it take? And what about the kids?
These are all questions that need to be answered if you’re thinking of filing for divorce. This article will help you to answer them by discussing five things you need to consider when considering divorce in the state of Texas
Let’s begin by analyzing whether divorce is indeed the right choice for you at this point.
1. Is Divorce the Correct Choice?
It may sound overly simple, but consider all the things that go into a divorce and what your life will be like on the other side. Here are a few questions that can help you decide if divorce is the answer or if you might be jumping the gun by filing:
Have I exhausted all avenues to save the marriage?
Why am I filing for divorce?
How will my life be better after divorce?
How might my life be worse after divorce?
Am I acting emotionally or rationally?
What outside factors might be influencing my decision?
If you’ve answered these questions (and others that might be more specific to your unique situation) and aren’t sure you’re ready for a divorce, or you want to try to save your marriage, you have a few options at your disposal.
What are Some Alternatives to Divorce?
Trial Separation: Prior to making the final decision to file for divorce, many couples go through a trial separation to experience what life will be like without their spouse and children full time. This can help you discover that you’re unwilling to live without either, or that you’re more than capable of leading your life single—and would be happier doing so.
Marriage Counseling: Marriage counseling is another avenue many couples have gone down and saved what seemed to be an unsalvageable relationship. A trained professional can help you and your spouse get to the root of some of the problems leading you to consider divorce in the first place. They can also help you get to a point in which both of you are confident that divorce is the right choice.
2. Are there Children Involved in the Divorce?
When children are involved in a divorce, it adds complexity, confusion, and emotional turmoil on top of the challenges faced by the separating couple.
Telling children you’re getting a divorce is an extremely difficult and sensitive endeavor (even more so with younger children). Even if you deliver the message perfectly with love and sincerity, there’s still a very realistic chance you’ll be met with anger, resentment, and extreme sadness. The process doesn’t get any easier from there as you’ll then have to consider what’s best for your children after the divorce.
Sometimes we think what’s best for us is best for our children when that’s not actually the case. Whether for their financial, lifestyle, emotional, or physical wellbeing, you need to pave the best path forward for your children, even if that means sacrificing time with them. Getting to this point takes some serious soul searching and selflessness.
If you do come to the conclusion that it’s in your children’s best interests to live with you, a judge may not agree. The judge can find that your children should spend equal time with both parents, more time with your spouse, or in the most extreme of rulings, all of their time with their other parent. So, you’ll need to be prepared for, or at least consider those outcomes.
Also related to the final ruling is the determination of child support due. The divorce decree may entitle you to child support or it may determine that you pay support to your spouse. It’s advisable to speak with an experience Texas family lawyer to understand what goes into a child support determination.
Children can be a primary reason struggling couples stay together. Couples often stick it out for the sake of the kids, even when a divorce would be better for their own sakes. As difficult as the decision may be, it’s never recommended to stay in an emotionally or physically damaging marriage for the children.
3. What Type of Divorce or Separation is Right?
If you’ve weighed all your options and determined that you want to proceed with a divorce, here are the common types of divorce or separation available to you in Texas, along with their pros and cons:
- Uncontested (No Fault) Divorce – An uncontested divorce is one in which you and your spouse are in total agreement on each issue relevant to your specific situation. From division of property to child custody and beyond, you reach an agreement on all matters, alleviating the need for a trial or litigation. Also known as a no-fault divorce, an uncontested divorce is a faster, more affordable option for couples who have come to an agreement to end their marriage amicably with no fault falling on either person. You can also get an uncontested divorce online in Texas.
- Contested Divorce – A contested divorce is what most people think of when the term divorce is mentioned. A contested divorce is almost always handled in a court where a judge determines the outcome based on a trial. This is the longest and most expensive divorce option, but a necessary one in situations where the relationship has regressed beyond the point of productive communication and cooperation.
- Legal Separation – Legal separation allows couples to sever financial ties and live separately (usually for a specified time period) without legally ending their marriage. This is advantageous to couples want to keep the door open to a possible reunion, rely on their spouse for ongoing support, medical insurance or cannot get divorced due to religious beliefs.
- Mediation – Mediation is a process where you and your spouse meet with an agreed-upon neutral person (a.k.a. mediator) who acts like a negotiator offering a third-party perspective, eliminating obstacles to communication, and hammering out an agreement. Mediation is typically faster, cheaper, and gives you greater control of the outcome than litigation.
4. What are the Costs Associated with Divorce in Texas?
There’s no sugar coating it, divorce isn’t cheap. The associated costs impact you before, during, and after the divorce is final. Following are some of the financial considerations associated with a divorce:
- Filing fees – A filing fee must be paid when the spouse initiating the divorce submits the divorce petition to the court. The cost to file in Texas varies by county but is about $300 on average. If you can’t afford the fees (and you can prove it) you can ask a judge to waive the fees.
- Attorney fees – Unless you’re handling your own case, you’ll need to hire and pay a divorce lawyer. While representing yourself saves money, it’s highly advisable to work with an experienced family lawyer when your lifestyle, financial welfare, and children’s futures are on the line.
- Time away from work – In the case of a contested divorce, which is considerably longer in duration, you could face a substantial amount of time away from work. While some companies are generous with paid time off, others aren’t. Self-employed individuals can be hit especially hard if they can’t work for extended periods due to required participation in the divorce proceedings.
- Alimony or spousal maintenance – Your final decree of divorce could determine that you’re required to pay alimony (commonly referred to as spousal maintenance) to your ex. The maximum a Texas court will order is $5,000 per month or 20 percent of the spouse’s average monthly gross income, whichever is less.
- Lifestyle costs – When your divorce is final and there are no longer two people sharing the financial load, it’ll be entirely on you to cover the costs of housing, bills, meals, and the like. It’s a smart move to prepare a budget that compares your individual income against the expenses you’ll be required to pick up after the divorce.
- Division of property & assets – Assets including property, investments, and retirement accounts acquired during your marriage are considered community property in Texas and will be divvied up evenly. In other words, prepare to lose half.
5. What Will Life Be Like After Divorce?
Regardless of whether the outcome of your divorce is beneficial or not, your life will change dramatically. From significant changes like less time with children and financial impacts to less significant but still impactful changes like losing mutual friends and taking on those loathsome chores your spouse used to handle. It may seem trivial at a time when you’re weighing up things like having to sell your family home, but these smaller daily lifestyle changes merit a degree of consideration because they can and do affect your physical, emotional, and psychological states.
While much of the preceding information may seem like it’s being presented to dissuade you from moving forward with a divorce, that’s not the case. These are simply real aspects of divorce that must be considered wholeheartedly before filing.
Contact an experienced Texas family lawyer at Carrington Smyth PLLC today to learn more about divorce and the corresponding considerations.